I have found social media in these times to be both a blessing and a curse. A positive post is followed by a negative news story. But this isn’t the only reason it is both a blessing and a curse, because sometimes even a positive post can turn into a negative if you stare at it for long enough. The reason for this, I find, is the fact that my brain will look at a post and think ‘well, you couldn’t do that’.
In day to day normal life I often struggle to not compare myself to others. It something that, if you know me well, you will know I do all the time. In the last year, in fact, I have often been asked if I am comparing myself to others, and told that I should not do that. Each time I have lied and said that I haven’t, but I honestly think it is something that has become hardwired into my brain. As beings who by nature thrive off interaction and relationship with one another it is no wonder that we end up spotting others strengths and talents. Therefore we often squander our own and forget that we are unique to others, so why should we strive to be more like one another?
To add to the headache, multiple forms of media portray the most ‘desirable’ person, a kind of default stereotype to live up to. But this ideal of perfection is more like a Sim who has had every skill maxed out. A Sim who has been edited to remove all of the ‘bad’ qualities. Someone who is completely flawless is not human, especially because this imaginary checklist is constructed by our own flawed human minds. Therefore, when we open a magazine and see someone who appears flawless in every way, or open our social media accounts and see a friend who is achieving everything and doing incredible things, we have to remind ourselves that they are flawed too. That they have things going on in their lives that are awful. That they are only showing us the good things in their lives because that is the stuff that sells. That they are editing themselves.
In recent days, I have found myself posting more on social media and using social media more, merely because circumstances demand it in order to keep in contact with those I care about. But this comes with the hazard of constant comparison. To open your social media and see others coping better than you are is a struggle normally, but it is even worse during the current crisis. For some, they use others success to motivate themselves. But I have always found the opposite to be true. Just occasionally you want to read a redemptive post about how someone has been in a really dark place and come out the other end, or you want to be personally encouraged by people to continue working hard and motivating yourself.
It’s the self-discipline that I have found the hardest. When you can’t work from home and you have no goals to meet, then what are you meant to do with your day? How do you fill your time productively so that you don’t binge watch the entire Netflix back catalogue? It’s hard to adjust to a new routine, but to create an entire new one to fit around these difficult circumstances is really hard. This just gets even harder with the additional anxiety of seeing others doing so well.
So how can we ensure that we fill our time effectively and also ensure that we do not compare ourselves to others? Firstly I think it is important to remember that some people will cope better without interaction by nature. Those who are more introverted, or who already lead a less social lifestyle, are probably not struggling as much as the rest of us. Secondly, I think it is important to remember to encourage those we care about to continue with what they are good at. This is what I have found to be true over the last few days, after being in touch with some friends. They have used our conversations to encourage me to continue with my blogs, and to continue posting uplifting things because it is encouraging and inspiring them. This has made me feel better about myself and has encouraged me to dedicate my time to doing these things.
Finally, we can use this time effectively to learn new skills or improve upon things we already know how to do. Recently I saw that a friend was using her time to learn a new language, and this encouraged me to take up a new skill myself. So, through YouTube, I have begun to teach myself guitar, for about twenty minutes a day. Through small achievements each day I have felt happier and it has made me feel that I am doing something worthwhile with my time. Learning is always a good way to keep your mind active and to make you feel happier.
A pencil drawing of a younger version of myself reading. 
A colour pen drawing of my dog. 
A watercolour of a sunset in Australia.
The first week of lockdown was tough for all of us simply because we had to get used to a new day to day. I have found the second week tough because seeing other people doing better than me has made me feel equal parts jealous and disappointed in myself. But we shouldn’t feel this way, as we are all different. So I will be starting a new repetitive routine until this is over. I will be getting up in the morning and going for a walk. As I can testify to from multiple years at University, staying in bed all day is never the answer unless you are actually sick. I will also be continuing with my blogs, learning guitar, and continuing to post daily creative things on my social media (some of which I have included in this post.) I will be replacing my old habits with positive new ones.
We are faced with a situation which we have never faced before. On TV the other day they were talking about our current situation in comparison to WWII. When rationing was brought in and children were separated from families and young men were called up, the UK government feared that we would come out the other end of the war less healthy than when we entered it. But the opposite was true. As a nation we were healthier because we were eating a more balanced diet, and people came out the other side with skills they possibly would never have learnt. Now we are faced with the same opportunity as a nation. We can grow closer in spirit and become healthier. We can change our old ways around.
I want to encourage you to join in my journey. I will be trying to meet small daily goals to stop myself from going stir crazy, and trying to get out of the habit of comparing myself to others. But I would also love to hear how you are finding everything, and to encourage you to find some small goals for yourself every day. Let’s thrive in this time rather than simply surviving. Let’s set ourselves small targets rather than astronomically huge ones.
Because Gurl, you can do it!
Fay Dragon 