Disclaimer: For those who are worried, this is not a blog in which I will be discussing flatulence, although it will play into it. In this blog I want to discuss views about gender. The fart was mainly to grab your attention. Because who doesn’t react when someone farts.
Recently I have been hearing a lot of women saying that they don’t fart, or burp. After pondering on why this might be, I reminded myself of times when I was a child when I was told that it was disgusting. I am not denying it isn’t. Nothing about farting is pleasant to those around you, and sometimes it isn’t even pleasant for you. But what I remember hearing as a child is that girls don’t fart, that women shouldn’t fart, and that it is unladylike. These are views that have not just been spoken over me as a child but also as an adult by friends. As an adult, this view annoys me because it begins to limit not only how young girls view themselves, but also tells them that they must live up to a mythic ideal; a figurative, goddess-like lady. There are so many things we are told are un-ladylike; sitting with our legs apart, swearing and cussing, taking strides which are too wide or too long, having too little hair on your head, having too much hair on your body, being too thin, being too curvy, smelling of body odour, wearing too much make-up, wearing too little make-up, etc.
There are probably other things that you are aware of as being ‘unladylike’, and I am also aware that this is not an exclusively female problem. Boys are also told to be ‘manly’ and behave as ‘gentlemen’; they should care for their appearance but not too much, they should restrain from ‘acting like girls’ and showing emotion, they should aim to be strong, they cannot be overly compassionate, etc. This long list of fictional ideals is convoluted and contradictory and result in an image of the perfect woman, man, or ‘lady’, or ‘gentleman’, which is an impossibility to achieve.
These god-like figures are an image of perfection which is of our own making. By attempting to live up to this list we limit ourselves and the possibilities of what we become, and we supress our true selves. By focussing on the bodily image and the way we act we ignore the things that are truly important; our inner beauty. What should matter to us are the things we enjoy doing and the people we enjoy doing those things with, and the areas of our personality which define us and make us unique individuals. Instead we wrap ourselves up within gender identity and gender norms, even though we profess to be moving away from those ideals.
But let’s get back to the source of my frustration and move away from the gender argument here. Yes, let’s return to farting. I think everyone agrees that it is disgusting. But I argue that by shaming our children into thinking it is unladylike or that they should be embarrassed we encourage insecurity within them. Farting is gross, but it is also an essential bodily function. In order to be secure within ourselves, we must embrace our grossness, our imperfections and our broken parts, and by extension, our farts (or whatever shameful thing we dislike about our body.) There are so many things in the past which women have been shamed for (for instance, menstruation) and which men have been ashamed of, but we should not feel the need to continue this archaic tradition.
This may seem like a jump, but I assure you it is not. Isaiah 55 speaks of the compassion of the Lord; that he satisfies hunger and thirst, that he heals the broken. He commands the Israelites to ‘incline their ear’ to him; ‘seek the Lord while he may be found’. ‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.’
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+55&version=ESV
Isaiah 55 speaks of grace; the grace of God to heal and forgive our sins. In my ESV study bible it explains that we are often tempted to seek to cleanse ourselves before we come before God. That we must be perfect and blameless, like the sacrificial animals described in Levitical law. But this is not necessary, because we are not our own sacrifice. As Christians we believe that God has fulfilled our need to be cleansed through Christ, as it says in Hebrews 10:14:
“For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.”
To sum up my rather weird ramble based around flatulence I wish to say that as Christians we should not be living in shame or forcing ourselves to live up to ridiculous ideals. As far as I am aware (and correct me if I am wrong) at no point in the bible is it said that women shouldn’t fart. We are given laws about how to conduct ourselves, but Christ being the fulfillment of the law has condemned sin. (Romans 8:1-4) Sure, there are ideals that Christ calls us to live up to, which perhaps I can go over some other time. But at no point do these gender stereotypes feature or ideals feature. These are societal constructs.
So as Christians, and non-Christians, what should we do to begin to free ourselves from these nonsensical rules?
Well I would argue that we shouldn’t live in shame of our true nature, whether that be bodily, mentally, spiritually or emotionally. Nothing about you negates your character or whether you are human and fit into society. Nobody should be telling you what you can and can’t do or structuring you to fit in a pre-determined box. In other words, to feel secure in yourself you should remove yourself from the shame of others. Lift yourself up. If that means ignoring the sly comments about how you sit like a man, or dress incorrectly for your ‘gender’ then that’s ok. Acknowledge your flaws, but don’t live in them. Don’t compare yourself to others or attempt to live up to their standards, because who knows, they may be getting it wrong. Shame should not be the rule and law of our society. Shame is not the determinant factor of our existence. Shame should not define us. Because gurl…
YOU SHOULD NEVER BE ASHAMED ABOUT BEING YOU.
Fay Dragon 